As my wedding approaches, my relationship to my body is paying a price

should we be talking about this more?

my sunshiney souls, what follows is a messy but (i hope) very honest essay.

sometimes it’s hard to know what truths we’re hiding from ourselves.

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If you find solace in the following essay or can’t upgrade your subscription right now, you may be interested in the last time I wrote about my relationship with my body—an essay many of you told me you felt seen by:

The war within: healing the disconnect between my mind and body

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The wedding industry is so freaking bizarre. The profit made on scaring women into hating what they naturally look like in the lead-up to a day about how loved they are is so backwards. It’s devastating to me.

If you are a woman approaching your own wedding or one who frequently attends friends’ weddings, I feel for you.

I hope my experience here may serve as a seed for reconsidering how much power you give wedding propaganda to make you feel there’s something wrong with your most natural self.

Your body and your face are not something to be fixed. They are beautiful vessels for your most beautiful soul.

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I shift my eyes from the reflection of my legs and my belly to my eyes.

I remember I am the soul inside of this physical vessel.

“Hi beautiful,” I say.

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I have one month until my wedding dress fitting. Comments from throughout the dress search process ring in my ears.