My Joy List
July 29th - August 5th: my wedding dress takes the metro, a day in Paris, & dancing at Lab 111
You’re reading a newsletter from Syd, an NYC-born gal who quit her “golden handcuffs” job and moved to Amsterdam to follow her heart’s calls for a path less traveled. Here, I share the challenges and wins of my own journey from people pleasing & perfectionism to authenticity, balance, joy, & freedom. Beyond this page, I coach fellow high achievers along their own journey. I also share their stories in a podcast, The Path Less Traveled. You may find comfort, empowerment, inspiration, and/or community. Welcome 🫶🏻
Hi my sunshiney souls!
I went to Paris for the day on Friday to pick up my wedding dress. I still can’t believe I can say something like that.
The day wasn’t perfect, but it was absolutely wonderful.
When I got on the train to head home, I turned on my Kindle to resume my place in Positivity. I found myself reading about how people with positive mindsets aren’t immune to negativity, but they rebound from negativity quickly. They’re resilient.
This felt like the perfect bookend (literally! Ha ha!) to my day.
A little bit about the day.
I sat down on the train at 7am and realized I forgot my AirPods. I left them charging with the cable that I also meant to bring with me. I really did my best to avoid forgetting: I left a charging brick on the table by the front door to remind myself to get the cable and the AirPods before leaving, but in the rush of leaving on time, I overlooked the brick. If only I had listened to my higher self the night before and put the brick in my sneaker.
Six hours of train and a day spent walking around Paris sans podcasts, music, or audiobooks—and, eventually, low phone battery—wasn’t in my vision board. I also planned on editing and releasing the next episode of The Path Less Traveled on the train, which would be hard to do without headphones.
As the train started moving out of Amsterdam Centraal station I overheard noise emanating from somebody else’s device. It felt like license to work on the podcast.
I began editing with my volume just loud enough for me to hear but low enough that I didn’t think anybody else could hear. That worked for a bit. But then I got to a place where I needed to make an edit that my podcast app’s iPad version couldn’t handle. I knew there might be hurdles to editing the podcast on my iPad when I chose to leave my laptop behind, but my top priority for the day was to enjoy walking around Paris, and should those couple extra pounds of my laptop hurt my shoulders or back, I’d be bummed.
That’s a huge point of growth for me: recognizing my highest priority goal may at times be enjoyment rather than achievement, and embracing the potential outcome of delaying, or even abandoning, the achievement.
So here I am, on the train, feeling giddy with excitement that my hand was “forced” to finalize and release the letter about my evening routine, a piece I wrote with so much love and enjoyment. I’m still building the muscle of choosing to do what makes my heart sing without needing to be forced.
When I got to Paris, I got on the metro with my large teal suitcase to head to a luggage storage facility. When I arrived at the facility, I saw what the two most recent Google reviews reported: the place looked like it was closed and locked up. I hoped, as I walked into the neighboring cafe, that the older reviews were right: the cafe was the proper entrance for the luggage storage.
There was a woman working alone behind the bar, pulling shots of espresso to bring to the patrons sitting side-by-side outside in that classically Parisian way. After asking, in my best French, whether she spoke English, I said, “I’m here for the luggage storage,” to which she replied, “Oh, I don’t know. I’m new.”
She ran off, speaking in French to somebody I couldn’t see, and then continued servicing the patrons as I stood, hoping somebody was going to come to my rescue but Googling alternative luggage storage nearby in the event those first two Google reviews were right.
After about five minutes, a woman with the kind of wonderful confidence the cafe was missing came rushing in and, upon seeing my luggage, joyfully grabbed keys from behind the bar and took me under her wing, as if to say, “not to worry, dear!” My savior.
Suitcase-less, I was ready for my day of aimless exploring. As I moseyed about, high on the wonder of Paris’ architectural romance and my on-the-go croissant (unexpectedly one of the best I’ve ever had), I noticed how grateful I was to not have my AirPods. The city felt so quiet. I was happy to be with the quiet.
I stopped into a poster store I hadn’t planned on, feeling in love with the posters and even more so with the wonder that rushes in when I follow that tickle of spontaneity.
I browsed for longer than I imagined, feeling no rush at all. I left posterless, but with that I-want-to-return green flag in my Google map.
I continued mosying about, looking up and taking photos of stores and restaurants I’d love to return to another day. I stopped into one, Allison, full of reasonably priced, locally made and designed items. I got a wonderful to-the-floor length burgundy cotton skirt. It’s so comfortable, I feel a bit naked in it.
I kept walking toward my ultimate destination—my favorite department store in the world, Le Bon Marché—and it was then that I started mentally working backwards from my appointment to pick up my wedding dress. I didn’t actually have all that much time, especially if I wanted to stick to the leisurely Parisian bistro lunch-and-read I’d been dreaming of.
My pace quickened. As I walked into Le Bon Marché, I recognized I’d have to do an item-appreciation lap, in the way one might quickly stroll through a museum, more than an in-the-racks, touch-every-item kind of perusing, as I’m inclined to.
I let my appreciation go on a tad long. I wouldn’t be able to go to Le Grand Epicerie, one of my favorite grocery stores in the world, as I’d hoped to. Not unless I nixed my lunch plan for a grab-and-go option. But I was determined to have my lunch.
I turned to Maps to figure out how long it would take me to get to La Fontaine de Mars. The bus was quickest, but I didn’t want to be subject to Paris traffic. I started walking as I contemplated grabbing a Lime bike on the way. I stopped at bikes twice, where I ran up against an un-downloaded Lime app and a bike seat I couldn’t lower, before committing to speed walking. Thank goodness it wasn’t one of those steamy European summer days everybody loves to talk about.
I made it to La Fontaine de Mars with an hour until my appointment. Factoring in time to pick up my luggage and get to the store, I had 30-45 minutes for my leisurely lunch.
The lunch was nothing short of magnificent. It was everything I’d been hoping for, even if a little short.
I joyfully scurried to get my luggage and then my dress.
Dress in luggage, I requested an Uber to the train station as I walked onto the street. The loading bar of doom stared back at me. “Hang on tight! It’s taking a little longer than usual,” I read, as my mental calculations revealed I really had no time to waste.
I canceled my request and took off for the metro.
I smiled, looking at this little teal box on wheels holding my beautiful dress, sandwiched between Parisians on the metro. I really couldn’t have asked for anything better.
I had to transfer metros to get to Gare du Nord and, of course, my transfer involved several flights of stairs, both up and down. I felt like superwoman lifting that suitcase.
On the second metro, just one stop before the train station, the metro doors started closing on a mother’s empty stroller, with her on the platform and her kids still on the train. My fellow passengers and I threw our hands onto the train doors and yanked them open. The doors wouldn’t stay open, though, so I threw my body in too. Thanks to several other passengers, the kids safely ran off the train and onto the platform to reunite with their mother. It was a cool moment of humanity. People are good at heart. Don’t forget that.
My phone battery was down to 29%. I hoped to find a charger in the train station but had no time to do anything other than jog to the train. And to think I originally expected to have time to stop at a bakery for a sandwich…
But I did it! I made it on the train.
I needed my phone to get home once I made it to Amsterdam, so I had no choice but to put it in airplane mode and throw it out of temptations reach, deep in my bag. My iPad would be dead soon too. I felt grateful to have no option but to window watch, read, and contemplate.
Here’s a taste of that chapter I mentioned, about how positivity breeds resilience:
“More than others, people with resilient personality styles make use of both positivity and openness. The openness that comes with positivity is what enables them to see the big picture, appreciate the now, and find the good within the bad. Openness is what dissolves negativity and enables people to make a strong comeback.” (Positivity p. 109)
It dawned on me that this day could’ve looked and felt very different had I allowed each unexpected twist to be a brick wall rather than a little pebble. It dawned on me that over and over, when I experienced stress or disappointment, I made a choice to see what happened positively at best, and at worst, a hiccup I could work around.
And because of all those little choices, I ended the day snuggled up under a patchwork of moments that made me feel nothing short of gratitude and awe.
The day wasn’t perfect but it was wonderful. Not necessarily because of what happened, but because of my perception. We all have the power to influence our perception. Not only on the exceptional days, but on the ordinary ones too.
& now, let’s dive into the little moments of joy that filled that day and the rest of the week. Happy joy spotting :)
Joy spotting: the practice of noticing little moments of joy surrounding us all the time (more)
rubs running up onto the couch to lick the tears off my face during Julia’s funeral stream
Rubs running in circles and barking at her new can toy
The lady bug on the bush at the start of my park walk with rubs
Rubs sitting right next to my leg while I caramelized the onions
The presumable grandmother on the train platform waving to her grandchildren through the train window
The woman next to me on the train pulling half a cucumber from her bag and eating it like a banana
The “don’t forget to smile” tag I’ve never noticed before inside my backpack
The elderly man in the blue blazer with a cane who stopped while passing my table at La Fontaine De Mars and asked “ce bon?” followed by a “bon appetit” as he continued on his way
Chay’s text about already thinking of what bag to buy
The silliness of the guy’s intro to Stop Making Sense at Lab 111
Dancing next to strangers and with A at Lab 111
Sitting up in bed this morning to see A dancing to last night’s dead & co show in the living room
Reading the bios of my soon-to-be classmates
Rubs trying to catch the bubbles I blew
The ladybug on the soil after A and Rubs picked me up from writing on the bench on the square
The sweetness and juiciness of the large yellow heirloom tomato
… paired with Lindenhoff’s creamy stracciatella
Rubs snuggling up into the crevice of my lap and belly on the couch
A lying on Rubs to form a three-way snuggle puddle
May you notice the silver lining when things don’t go as planned, and heed the choice to turn the lining into a wrapping. Big, big hug from me to you <3
Love,
Syd