My Joy List

April 22nd-28th: wildness, King’s Day, & mamas and babies

You’re reading a newsletter from Syd, an NYC-born gal who quit her “golden handcuffs” job and moved to Amsterdam to follow her heart’s calls for a path less traveled. Here, I share the challenges and wins of my own journey from people pleasing & perfectionism to authenticity, balance, joy, & freedom. Beyond this page, I coach fellow high achievers along their own journey. You may find comfort, empowerment, inspiration, and/or community. Welcome 🫶🏻

Hi my lovely sunshiney ones!

I’ve already seen TWO lady bugs today. JOY! 🥲

A sent me this animation of a photo of me & Rubs while I was writing this… naturally, I HAD to include it :))

This morning, the word “wild” popped up twice. Once while on the toilet reading a Mary Oliver poem and the other in a guided meditation. I feel inspired by so many things right now that I risk burying my joy list far, far away (though all this inspiration is joy-inducing for me, hopefully you too). I’ll save the Mary Oliver poem for the end of this note. Dessert, if you will.

From the Tara Brach meditation I did this morning:

“Be crumbled.
So wild flowers will come up where you are.
You have been stony for too many years.
Try something different.
Surrender.”

- Rumi

Calls to be wild make me feel so excited. I guess this is in line with the “no rules” reminder I shared last week. May I step beyond the walls I build and set my creativity free.

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Speaking of creativity, I went to an unbelievable exhibit spread across two of Amsterdam’s largest museums, the Stedelijk and the Van Gogh museum. The artist is Anselm Kiefer and the art is just… mind blowing. I can’t stop thinking about it. I also can’t stop thinking about this quote of his included on one of those little description thingys next to his larger-than-life works:

"Every painting destroys the one before. The previous works of art still exist, but no longer for the artist."

I was going to include a photo of one of his pieces, but the photos just don’t do his works any justice. In fact, they feel like an injustice. I almost bought a postcard of one piece in the gift shop afterward, but I put the postcard back for this very reason.

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Another thing I can’t stop thinking about: my dear friend Jessie wrote a beautiful piece that won a contest. Below is a quote from it that really resonates with me:

Embodiment and thought seem as if they should go hand in hand, but I’ve thought and I’ve thought and I’ve thought, and I’ve never thought myself into my body. I’ve thought and I’ve thought and I’ve thought, and all I’ve ever found are more thoughts.

This makes me wonder if our thoughts are mostly distractions. If they hold the shape of who we once were, a skin we need to tug off.

You can read the full piece here and much more of her beautiful writing via her Substack

Claiming Writerhood

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Other thoughts/ideas I’m mulling:

• Sometimes I spend so much time thinking about what my purpose is and how I can tend to it that I forget I can answer the question instantaneously by doing very simple things that involve being and engaging with the world.

Now, the list!! The joy! Here it is. Happy joy spotting :)

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Joy spotting: the practice of noticing little moments of joy surrounding us all the time (more)

• the birdies whistling on my way home from the gym

• The ~1.5 year old girl sitting on her moms lap at a table at cafe garçon in the middle of her mom’s lunch with a friend

• The group of young girls who came in to the nail salon looking for chores to do during my mani

• Catching up with Margot

• The little oranges and butter yellow backdrop Margot painted on my nails

I smile every time I see them :’)

• The baby-pink children’s bike on my walk home from the gym

• Walking in the park and talking with Katie about life, grief, and the pod

• The mama and baby ducks lined up in a row staring out at the pond as the papa patrolled

• The white feather swirling in the wind on my way home from the gym

• The hot pink flowers blooming on the tree outside George

• Watching Rubs bounce around on A’s back in her new backpack

• The girls’ song and dance performance at their booth for Kings Day

The innocent side of Kings Day :’) Orange everywhere, open-market goods for sale everywhere. Cutest kids selling their toys.

• Laughing with A about the drunk man and woman attempting to be discreetly frisky while having conversations with friends on the street

• The even-more-calm-than-usual calmness of Sunday morning in the park after Kings Day

Same spot, 14 hours apart. Kings day evening vs. the morning after :o

• Seeing Ruby put her paws in the water on the beach for the first time

• The incredible hummus, falafel, fresh & hot pita, rice, eggplant, labneh, and pizza from Esh

• Seeing Em’s face on facetime

• The lady bug on the plant on my and Rubs’ morning walk to the park

• The lady bug on the bike tire opposing mine after i switched from my normal bike parking spot

Our morning stroll sandwiched by lady bugs :’)

• the abundance of flowers and people at the Monday flower market

• Watching A bike while holding our tall orange-flowered plant

• Adding our new pots of pink and orange flowers to the balcony

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Finally, that poem I mentioned at the beginning:

Green, Green is My Sister’s House

Don’t you dare climb that tree
or even try, they said, or you will be
sent away to the hospital of the
very foolish, if not the other one.
And I suppose, considering my age,
it was fair advice.

But the tree is a sister to me, she
lives alone in a green cottage
high in the air and I know what
would happen, she’d clap her green hands,
she’d shake her green hair, she’d
welcome me. Truly

I try to be good but sometimes
a person just has to break out and
act like the wild and springy thing
one used to be. It’s impossible not
to remember wild and want it back. So

if someday you can’t find me you might
look into that tree or—of course
it’s possible—under it.

Mary Oliver, from A Thousand Mornings
Published in 2013 by Penguin Books, p. 49
© 2012 by NW Orchard LL.C.

May you let your inner wild child out a bit this week (if you are prone to keeping him or her locked away). Big hug <3

Love,

Syd