My Joy List
Feb 18th-24th: entering flower szn, discovering Esh Pitabar, and staying open to possibilities
You’re reading a newsletter from Syd, an NYC-born gal who quit her “golden handcuffs” job and moved to Amsterdam to follow her heart’s calls for a path less traveled. Here, I share the challenges and wins of my own journey from people pleasing & perfectionism to authenticity, balance, joy, & freedom. Beyond this page, I coach fellow high achievers along their own journey. You may find comfort, empowerment, inspiration, and/or community. Welcome 🫶🏻
Hi my dear sunshiney souls!!
I’m writing to you once again from the couch on a very rainy day here in Amsterdam, snuggled under my favorite gray blanket.
I had a big, meaty hit of intuition flow through me during and after a meditation this past week, and then the same ideas seamlessly wove into a conversation with a friend later in the week.
I read this to her and she enjoyed it. Maybe you’ll enjoy it too:
Possibility. When we’re so intent on a certain outcome, white knuckling to ensure that outcome, we close off avenues for all the hundreds of other possibilities that could be. This includes the ones that may lead to even more joy and peace than the possibility we are striving for. We close ourselves off to those possibilities, and that closure, those blinders, they create resistance in us, so we literally block the magical unexpected outcomes. The resistance leads to anxiety, stress, tension. So striving for the outcome we want is the exact thing that leads to what we don’t want (discomfort, unhappiness).
Impatience, at the sign of barriers and distractions from the outcome we long for instead of openness to the possibility that the outcome will be even better. Yes, that one outcome might be slipping through our fingers, but our happiness and a wonderful outcome is not, as certainly there are other possible outcomes that will lead to happiness, if we are open to them. If we’re not open, though, even a path that could bring happiness will not because we get in our own way.
Like waiting in line behind somebody who is taking a long time to order a coffee, and suddenly you’re going to be late to that meeting.
We can consider, instead, “what unexpected outcome may be even better, given I’m experiencing what I didn’t expect?” Openness to and curiosity about “of the possibilities, which will be?”—that leads to magic. We don’t “lose” the possibility that we long for—if it’s something we can strive for, it must still be a possibility—and we gain the possibility of even better.
Other thoughts/ideas I’m mulling:
“Whatever we practice grows stronger. If we practice having judgmental thoughts and worried thoughts, we get more judgmental and worried.” - Tara Brock pod
& now, on to the list! Happy joy spotting :)
Joy spotting: the practice of noticing little moments of joy surrounding us all the time (more)
facetiming with em while she has lunch and i have dinner
catching up with amanda
the ease of mixing my parfait in our new bigger bowls
Ruby’s excited reaction to her new coffee wood bone
watching ruby watch herself chew on her new bone in the mirror
seeing both Arnold and Renee working the Brothel stand at the market
The moment I started talking on my bike to the person next to me thinking it was A and the belly laughter I erupted into when I realized it was a random man
The warmth our new carpet brings to the kitchen/dining area
Playing with Ruby right before a coaching session
Ruby, sitting in my lap for 30 minutes, chewing on her bone before bedtime
Putting on the Joni Mitchell record before starting my morning pages
Walking outside comfortably and just a vest
The stillness of the water on the pond in the park early in the morning
The little yellow flowers blooming in the park
Breathing deeply while walking and smelling the wet green aliveness of spring on the horizon in the park
The yellow brick rode in the rose garden
maintaining my piano practice
Assembling a bouquet at Menno Kroon
Ruby’s reaction to her first furry rabbit ear treat
the little yellow flowering branches that smell so fragrant, like jasmine
the bright purple flowers with the orange insides
getting ray and andrew’s save the date in the mail
the youtube video timelapse of a black lab puppy from birth
the way ruby watched the tv during said video
walking and talking about life with katie
running into Rokelle and Cristina at the market
immediately gravitating to a bouquet at the market
the way said bouquet is so beautifully opening up
the moment Ruby fell asleep at unCommon
reuniting with the incredible mushroom and kimchi toasts at Uncommon
getting walk-in seats at the bar at Esh Pitabar
the fabulous pizza, labneh, rice, and falafel at Esh
an evening walk with A through De Pijp for my first Massimo Gelato since last summer
the sweet flyer requesting people submit encouraging messages for a bride who lost her parents before her wedding
the American woman who said “is that Ruby?” from afar in the park
said woman telling me her son hasn’t stopped talking about Ruby
the woman who jokingly said she wanted to steal Ruby
Ruby walking confidently without trying to eat everything on the street
The small gold hearts on the road over the bridge to Wilheminapark
the moment Ruby went to sleep at Wilheminapark
doing training with Ruby while waiting for the bus to the train station
Ruby’s relative contentedness on an otherwise hiccup-full journey to and from Utrecht
the rabbit ear and other treats that contributed to said contentedness
watching A patiently and gently bathe Ruby
Ruby’s increasing comfort in the bath
reading Super Attractor in the morning with my parfait
the way the woman working at the grocery store came over to say hi to Ruby
Ruby turning to give me a big kiss while said woman pet her
mom texting me as though i am ruby
texting mom back pretending to be Ruby
Wishing you so much peace in the week to come. May you pause long enough to connect to the energy in your heart, and let it flow toward all that you come into contact with.
Love,
Syd
p.s. If you pause right now and ask yourself, “how am I doing?,” what’s the FIRST thing you hear? Not the response after you started questioning/debating/rationalizing your first response, but the real first gut response. [pause to ask!]
Is there anything you were planning on doing today that doesn’t match that feeling? What’s the worst that happens if you postpone? What other possibilities might exist that would be even better than what you were planning on?